The effects of children on an adult

22Oct10

I’ve begun to notice a trend, you parents out there may recognize the effects.

I was a funloving person, I enjoyed music of all kinds, movies of all kinds (well almost, those of you that know me, know what kind of movies I don’t like…) I liked to be spontaneous, do what I want, when and how I wanted. Laundry was an afterthought to be taken care of when I ran out of clothes. Dishes slightly better kept than laundry. The main focus being to prevent anything from growing it’s own ecosystem.

When I became a parent the first time, I had already begun a metamorphosis because I was married and trying to make myself less annoying to my mate. Sadly, that marriage didn’t last (I never quite changed enough), but the child is still always in my thoughts even when I can’t easily see her. This second time however, almost everything is different. I found a new mate, one that is very much like me in many ways, but a complete polar opposite in others. Along with this new addition to my life came two new children, and rather quickly afterward a third. So, I now have at home 3 young ladies under the age of 7. As Geoff Foxworthy said, “I live in the estrogen ocean, the giggling nekked barbie woodstock.”

I have found that by necessity my tastes in music and movies have rapidly changed. Where once my playlist would feature Stained, metallica, Guns N Roses, Seal, George Straight, Zack Brown Band, Alabama, and Beethoven, many of my once favorite songs have had to drop off the list. If I want to listen to anything with moderate to restricted lyrics, it has to be away from my children now, with zero chance of them hearing it. So, goodbye Click Click Boom, and It’s Been A While (explicit lyrics), and hello… hannah montanna.. /twitch /twitch

The weird thing is, that the more I hear it, and other young disney channel musicians, the better I tolerate and slowly begin to like it. I actually pulled up a video clip of “hoedown throwdown” off the movie.. Once I realized just how bad that would look if spotted by a coworker, I immediately replaced my youtube screen with Welcome to the Jungle to begin to appear “normal” again. (Hush you, normal is a relative term, and even applies to me.)

I used to watch movies like The Matrix, Passenger 57, Star Wars, Star Trek, Lord of The Rings, Hunt for Red October and many others. Now, if it’s before 8pm It has to be something involving princesses, young pop stars, horses, little girls with magical powers (ok, I actually liked matilda before now, but not every blinking day..) or things with faery wings. Now, I understand that playing WOW for 5 years means I’m at least partly into the fantasy world much of the time, but we didn’t have any fairy wings…. (unless you count that one warlock raid set that I never got my lock up to wearing.) After 8pm, if I manage to stay up, I’m usually on the computer, not watching TV or movies. (I need to plan some movie nights with my wife, once the school term is done and she can sleep again…)

I will probably spend the next 13 years or so in this g/pg restricted movie mode, except when I can get away with adult friends and GO to the movies. (Last movie I saw in theater was Iron Man 2 if I recall, I took my wife’s little brother.) This extends even to the games I play. Running around mindlessly killing beasts, people, zombies, and demons don’t really set the right example for impressionable young girls. I haven’t even turned on my PS3 in weeks. I guess I’m alright with EVE, as you don’t actually “KILL” anyone, you just blow up spaceships, and find ways to make money.

There are days when I really crave “Adult” conversation, when I want to escape the rapid fire questions of a 6 year old. But don’t mistake me, I love my girls and wouldn’t trade my new life for anything. I wonder what things are in store for me in the years to come. As they grow, and they start trying to shock us with the new crop of edgy music and trying to watch movies for older groups than they are in because they are “mature” enough in their mind. Will our parental instincts to protect kick in, or will we quietly act shocked and enjoy watching them grow up? I know that long before I want it to be here, the youngest of my 4 will be at the point in her life that she won’t need me anymore, she will have someone else to protect her and care for her and I will have to accept that.. Granted all the prospective youngins that try to even glance at my little girls will need to be inspected, have background checks run, and be fitted with tracking collars before they can take my little girls out of the driveway. Ok, maybe I won’t be that protective… But, I guarantee that I will have the old rifle down with the cleaning kit, a few spent rounds,  and some “used” practice targets with tight groupings of holes right between the non-existent eyes of the silhouette.

I guess I’ll sign off with a very fitting youtube video.

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