How to handle guild drama

13Nov09

I have been a contributing member of 3 guilds on my server, I accepted control of one and ran it for a while. I joined another to experience raiding. I moved to another raiding guild after some bad experiences made me leave the second.

My first guild was and it was a great group of guys and gals. I wasn’t anybody important in the guild (other than a contributing member) this was in the days of wow vanilla. We didn’t raid, but we were moderately active, usually about 10-15 people on any given afternoon/evening/weekend. I was just coming off a divorce, and in RL a bit antisocial so it was great to have people that I could portray one side of myself to the way i wanted with no judgement on my shape/size/RL acheivements (or lack of). My most common toon at the time was a dwarf hunter (miner/gnome engineer) who’s favorite pet was a loch modan crocolisk named Chomp.

I started working on a pally and had just finished the big hammer questline when a baby pally joined the guild. knowing a little bit about the class I took this baby pally under my wing and helped him get on his feet. I ended up running deadmines with this guy so many times that I couldn’t look at the instance for about 2 years. The guild leadership noticed how much i was helping folks (not just baby pally) and eventually invited me to be one of their officers. I was stunned and deeply honored. A couple months later, the then GM held an officer meeting to determine the course of the guild for the coming months. He announced he was going to be taking an extended leave from the game and wanted to name a successor. Oddly enough, nobody wanted to step forward and lead. I whispered him that if nobody else will I would and so I got landed in the drivers seat of a 100 account 200 member guild. Some time after this the baby pally was all grown up, and tried to splinter off the guild and form his own. HOLYCLEAVE i’m happy to say has not been heard from in some time.

In time, BC came out, and we got a few people up to 70 and keyed to try to tackle kara. Time and again, my evening would amount to sitting at the summoning stone waiting for the people to show up that said they would. and Never did. One week I lost it, a half hour past start time, and one person (other than me) had shown of 15 people that said they wanted to go.

I started training up my druid Kattrinsaa to be a test/basket case with this raiding guild we had been told was looking for more people. I figgured, why not? I can get some raid experience in and learn the fights so that when I cooled off I could try to bring my guild up to speed. Nice in theory, bad in practice..

Raiding was fun, getting (and I quote the raid leader from guild #2) “Phat lootz” was fun Kara was… Fun! I didn’t want to go back to dragging people kicking and screaming to the stone and never getting anything started. So i did the inexcusable as a guild leader. I didn’t show up often enough. Eventually I handed control of what was left of the guild back to the old owner who had returned. Pretty much everyone had left it and I think it became a private guild bank for him.

In guild 2, I was again a nobody and I kept it that way, other than I was known to all in the guild, I was feral tank specced, in a guild with 3 feral tanks and some super pallytanks. So I was as useful as a library card to a blind man. More and more I found myself in cat form or helping to heal. (my least favorite druidic activity) Eventually I brought my huntard over and without meaning to, created a bit of guild drama on a gruul run… I had the audacity to roll against a rogue on the dragonspine trophy… (and even worse, I won) Eventually that event proved to be the proverbial straw for the equally proberbial camel’s back. Sitting in shatt one day I saw a guild member and said hi, instead of responding in a nice normal friendly manner he spit at me. I asked what was wrong and he started cussing at me about the DST then put me on ignore and flew off.

I spoke with our guild master, told him the situation and that I did not feel comfortable there anymore, sent a /g message out saying i was leaving and wishing them luck and /gquit. In my opinion, that is the only sane/respectable way to do that.

I joined up with guild 3 and changed spec to balance, and started having a great time playing the game. (that is why we are here afterall, no?) Things rocked along till early part of this year when the luvbug bit me.

Now, I’m remarried, and we are expecting a new child, to add to the one I have from my first marriage, and the two my mate has. In a very short time, i’ve gone from a layabout that only had to manage a small household, to a responsible person watching over up to 6 lives. Naturally something had to give, and it was the time on WOW.

I used to raid 3 nights a week usually about 3 hours a night, and was usually on long before raid time, also on about the same on non-raid nights. My life consisted of work/sleep/wow, I would average 5-6 hours a night, and huge chunks of the weekend as well. Now that we are all moved in and getting to a routine, I might pop on for 1-2 hours a night after the kiddies have gone to bed.

Lately, I’ve been playing on other servers for a change of scenery. When you fall behind your guild buddies on gear, you have less opportunities to join in the fun because your behind the gear curve. So I’ve been starting fresh and seeing the old sights. I put a couple toons on silver hand, that perhaps one day I’ll run into pike and can say hi. And recreated Katt over on Kael’Thas so I could join in on the race for the cure. I’m happy to say that Katt mk2 is already up to lvl 20, with katt form and a mount. I cleared bloodmyst isle because i don’t really like the nelf secondary zones that well.

So, I checked back on the original Katt and when I logged in, I noticed something right away, I had no access to the guild tab. I always look to see who’s on when i login. I search for anyone on i know, not only does nobody show up when i search for the guild, the people that I do know who were, all show up under different guilds.

I found out later on from a co-worker/guildmate that there was a coup of sorts, and the new owner of the guild didn’t want to rebuild it after a split that occurred in my absence, they wanted to keep the guild name/banktabs for their private use. So they booted everyone from the guild.

Ok, for those of you considering a change of guild, there is a right way and a wrong way to do things. Right way, talk to the guild leadership and let them know why you are moving on. If it is lack of progression/content, I’m sure they will understand that your priorities have changed, and that you want to see stuff they won’t be getting to anytime soon. IF there is guild drama you need to get away from, they will understand that too. If you like the people in the group, consider leaving an alt there so you can play with them and keep informed in what’s going on when you are not raiding on your ubertoon.

Wrong way, steal the items from the guild bank and then /gquit without a word.
Wrong way, announce to the guild that you are forming your own guild and want everyone that can to come join you.

Likewise guild officers/leaders there is a right and wrong way to deal with problem players. You can be a jerk and just /gkick without a word. or you can explain the situation to them privately and ask their cooperation in settling the dispute. depending on their attitude you can always still /gkick but it would be preferrable to solve the problem and get people going in the right direction again. Bad attitudes have a way of permeating the trade chat channel and should you put out a recruitment, people will know. Likewise, good attitudes also lend themselves to free advertising, making it hard to keep your numbers down.

The best thing anyone can do with drama is sit both sides down, talk to them and try to come up with an agreement. or, put in a 50g fine for whining… imagine how fast the guild bank’s account would grow then?

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